I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
