I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize