Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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