I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize