Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize