ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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