can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
