Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize