dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
