I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
