Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize