is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So. Much. Porn.
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