ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
