What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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