Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
