It's Friday. Sex?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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