I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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