i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
