and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
