She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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