So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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