New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize