It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
