Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
