I can text with my tongue
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
