and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
