its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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