so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
