but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
