i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
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I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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