I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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