So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
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I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
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Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos