so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her