I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
