it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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