1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
