So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
