1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
