pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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