whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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