Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize