great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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