my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Couch. On fire.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
