But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
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she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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