she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize