how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Too much gin, very little bucket
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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