I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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