So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How external is "for external use only"?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
