You're my little dorito
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
