apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
