Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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