We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
