Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
