i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize