just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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