That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
