last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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