Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
