ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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