I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
