The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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