The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
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I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
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I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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