do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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